Category Archives: Fear

10 things mentally strong people don’t say

10 things you’ll never say again

10 things mentally strong people don’t say

 

Have you ever been in a situation where you wanted something?

But there was something that stopped you?

Especially your thoughts?

Maybe you want to get noticed by your potential customer?

Maybe you want to stand out among the crowd?

Maybe you want to do that little extra for your customer?

Maybe your company stagnates?

Perhaps you are secretly jealous of all those people who are good at speaking in public?

You may feel that you can improve certain skills if you want to move to the next level.

 

But you do not know how or where to start …

So you say, “I do not know how to do that.”  Fullstop.

 

That was the answer a friend gave me when we discussed her business.

In fact, her business is stagnating.

She is a professional in what she does.

But she has never been into marketing.

Let alone social media marketing.

 

And the thought of putting videos on YouTube scares her.

 

So when I said: “why not do something with video to give your marketing and business a boost?”

 

Her answer was: “I do not know how to do that.”

Point.

And my reaction is: “So?”

 

And that brings me to the theme of this blog.

What are 10 things that you cannot say?

Or better, what are 10 things that mentally strong people do not say?

 

1.      I can’t do this

I already wrote a blog post about this.

And you can find it here.

 

When you say “I can’t do this”…

you have to ask yourself the following questions:

 

  • Can’t you do this YET?
  • You don’t think you will be able to do/learn this?
  • You WON’T do/learn this?

 

Be honest and don’t hide behind a lousy excuse like “I can’t do this”.

Because you most probably can do this.

If you want to.

And you set your mind to it.

 

 

2.      I can do this all by myself

When I contact the participants of our Business Boost Event to ask them if they want to take their business to the next level and would like some help with that…

Several participants indicated that they were mega enthusiastic after the event

and felt a lot of eagerness to move to the next level.

However, they first want to try it for themselves.

They don’t need us now, not yet.

When they find out they can’t do it by themselves, they will come back to us.

OK, I get that.

Not every participant of the Business Boost Event will feel the need to attend the next level program. And that’s ok.

What I do find important is that you understand you cannot do everything by yourself.

You don’t have to either.

Just remember: 1 + 1 equals 3.

Also: dare to ask for help.

Unless you are dealing with a narcissist or psychopath, most of the people are very happy to help you because it also gives them a good feeling.

So delegate, ask help, find a buddy and do not waste valuable time.

 

3.      He/she makes me feel small, unhappy, stupid…

That is something that I used to suffer from.

I was a negative person.

And I blamed everyone for anything and everything.

I stopped doing that.

I always felt that I was ‘small’.

But the thing is: I kept myself small

I learned that from one of my coaches.

She was also the one who came with the quote from Eleanor Roosevelt:

“nobody can make you feel inferior without your consent”.

Ok, that’s easier said than done. It is a skill that you need to develop.

But what is important is to know that you (can have) control over your thoughts and attitude and not those of another.

There are rude and rude people in the world. You may not be able to change them. You can decide however how you respond to those people.

A friend of mine once said: “If you roll your eyes, it is clear that you think you are superior to me.”

1 – that is not true – who am I to feel superior?!

2 – it’s her choice to decide how she deals with this. She can choose to feel bad and disappointed and angry. Or she can say: “when Miss Bunnens rolls her eyes, so be it. I know what I stand for. And I will say what I have to say. F**k Bunnens” 😉

 

4.      If only I had…

I used to have a colleague who relived his past forever.

He was constantly saying things like: “if only I attended college… “, “I shouldn’t have done that….”, “If only my mother would have loved me… ” ….

What is important to know is that you cannot change the past. That is behind us.

Mentally strong people do not waste time on the past and wish that things could be different. They recognize their past and can say what they have learned from it.

They do not constantly relive bad experiences or fantasize about the glory days.

Instead, they live for the present and plan for the future.

 

5.      That’s not fair

Calimero always says: “They are big and I am small, and that is not fair, oh no.”

No matter how cute Calimero is, constantly claiming that this or that is not fair does not really make him mature.

And that also applies to you if you say keep on saying that something isn’t fair.

Life is simply not fair. You are an adult and you should know this.

You come across as immature and naïve.

I remember that one of my former colleagues was extremely angry because he did not get a promotion, someone else did.

He told everyone that it was not fair.

What he could have done instead was to ask the decision-makers what the reason was for not being chosen and which competencies he might have to develop to make a better chance next time. ”

 

6.      I didn’t have a choice

This too is an example of avoiding your responsibilities.

Successful people always see the options, regardless of the circumstances. If we say that we have no choice, it means that we see ourselves as a victim, that we are less powerful than our environment. These weak words release the speaker from all responsibility.

Successful people say “I have a choice”, “Here are our options”, or: “Let us imagine all possibilities.”

You always have a choice. It won’t always be easy. But there are always options.

 

7.      I’ll try

During our two-day Business Boost Event, we leave room for interaction and reflection.

One of the questions we ask systematically is: “What action are you going to take in this area?”

Many people then respond with caution: “I am going to try this and do this …”

When you say “try” you don’t come across as a confident person. As if you doubt your ability to take that action.

This also gives me little confidence. Are you going to do it or not? You don’t show commitment when you say “Try”.

Suppose you go to the garage for the maintenance of the car and the garage owner says: “I’m going to try to do the maintenance today”.

Euh? What do you mean by “trying”? …

 

 

8.      He/she thinks…

“Can you read my mind?” I sometimes think when I have a discussion with the friend I mentioned in point 3.

This amazing lady and a fantastic friend sometimes has a tendency to read minds. She is not always very good at it. 🙂

She’s convinced I feel superior to her when I roll my eyes.

That is by no means the case.

You are trying to read my mind.

But unfortunately, you come to the wrong conclusion.

 

So, try not to guess what other people are thinking.

Check first.

 

I recently found a quote that I find appropriate here:

“Before you assume, learn the facts. Before you judge, understand why. Before you hurt someone, feel. Before you speak, think.”

There is another blog post I wrote on this matter.

You can find it here.

 

9.      He/she is a loser, is lazy…

It is clear that you do not come across as mature when you gossip about others. That says more about you than about that person.

Imagine you clam somebody is a lazy bum

How sure are you that that person is lazy?

And if it would be the case that that person is lazy, then that will already be common knowledge.

And what is the use of you repeating it? Will you suddenly turn that person into an active and energetic human being?

And suppose it is not accurate, then you are the silly one.

To speak badly about another person is often an uncertain attempt to make yourself better.

Usually, you achieve the opposite effect.

 

10. I’ll try my best

This is a tricky one.

Imagine having to undergo a crucial heart surgery. And the cardiologist says, “I will do my best to save your life.”

How does that happen?

Fairly good?

Fortunately, he is going to do his best to save your life. That’s his job.

Luckily he does not say: “I will try to save you”

And yet he could say something even better…

 

What if he says: “I will do whatever it takes to save your life”

How does that feel?

Better right?

 

Think about your business: will you do your best to make it a success? Or will you do whatever it takes to make it a success?

Your choice…

 

Your turn

The 10 statements that you will never make again …

It seems simple. But it is not always the case.

It has to do with mindset and being mentally strong. And not everyone is mentally strong. That’s the bad news.

You might think that people with mental strength are born that way and that it is inherent in who they are. That is not the case. Mental strength is a skill that someone with little perseverance can develop. That’s the good news.

Mentally strong people have certain habits that they constantly repeat and that results in mental strength.

The idea is that you develop the habit of turning these 10 statements into strong ones.

And a habit becomes a skill.

 

Up to you now.

What are the statements you still make?

And what can you say instead?

Say it aloud. Again and again.

And you will develop a habit of being mentally strong.

 

I used to be in a victim role.

Long story short: after a huge discussion with my father and sister, I decided to go through life positively.

Whenever I caught myself complaining, being negative or pointing a finger at someone, I decided to replace these thoughts and statements with positive and constructive ones.

Gradually I have evolved to a positive person who does not linger in the past.

 

And if I can, then you too.

 

Your turn: Can you come up with an 11th statement we should never make again? Let us know via the comment box.

How to get rid of silly excuses and beat procrastination

Hi there!

Recently I was interviewed by Kawtar Najjar for her ‘The Online Business Rebels Summit’.

The goal of the summit is to inspire and enthuse (young) entrepreneurs on their business journey.

Obviously, my cup of tea.

 

One of the questions Kawtar asked me was about excuses and procrastination

We all have excuses that keep us from realizing our goals, from implementing, from getting things done, etc..

How do you overcome these excuses and beliefs?

 

This is indeed a major topic for entrepreneurs (for everybody actually)

And I have studied the topic for years.

I could give you hundreds of ideas and tips.

 

But let’s keep it short.

Let’s focus on 3 ideas that have helped me overcome my doubts and fears and helps me beat procrastination.

3 ideas that help me get moving.

 

1. Everything is relative

Everything is relative

Einstein said it. Paulo Coelho too.

People tell me things like:

  • I’m a single mom, so I can’t…
  • I had a difficult childhood, so I can’t…
  • I am too ugly, small, big, weak….
  • I don’t have the money…
  • I don’t have time…
  • I need to do/study this first…

 

What’s your excuse?

I tend to think: “There are 7 billion people on this planet. Do you honestly think there is not at least one person who has experienced worse situations and still was able to realize his or her dreams, got things done, came into action?…”

Honestly.

 

2. Your why

remember why you started

Do you remember why you started?

Pursuing the career of an entrepreneur is not easy.

So why did you start?

Why are you doing what you do?

What is your purpose, your why?

Remember that when you are facing difficulties.

Or when the evil procrastination monster knocks on your door.

 

3. 5 second rule

5 second rule

I love Mel Robbin’s book “the 5 second rule”.

Such a simple rule.

And boy, what a powerful rule.

Mel says in her book that whenever you feel a hunch (you know you should do something) you need to act on it quickly. You have 5 seconds before your brain takes over and comes up with a million excuses to not do the thing that you know you should do.

For instance, get up early.

Or call prospects.

Or say ‘I love you’ to someone dear.

So what’s the secret behind the 5 second rule.

Simple– you count backwards: 5 – 4 – 3 – 2 – 1 – GO.

And when you say the word GO, you act.

It’s as simple as that.

Not always easy.

But really simple.

You should try it.

 

 

So what is your excuse?

And how do you overcome excuses? Please do share in the comment field below. Many thanks.

What would you do if you only had 5 years to live?

Hi there

This week I am organizing a 2-day training for entrepreneurs.
It’s a big step for me and my business partner Karina
to organize such a big event.
A lot of work.
A lot to organize.
A lot to think of.
A lot of stress.
A lot. A lot. A lot.

And then suddenly you realize…

“My goodness, what the hell am I doing?”

The reason I suddenly had this disturbing thought in my mind is
because I received bad news a couple of days ago.

My aunt, my mother’s youngest sister, was diagnosed with
an evil brain tumor and needed surgery immediately.

She is so young, so vibrant, so full of life
and then suddenly she got that news.

I can’t imagine how that must feel.

But it did make me ask the question…

“What would I do if I only had 1 year to live?”

Now if you only have one year to live, I’d probably drop a lot of things and spend my time with the people (and dogs :-)) I love. In the sun.

What would you do?

In my opinion, however, a far more interesting question to ask yourself is …

“What would you do if you only had 5 years to live?”

Why is that more interesting?
Well, because probably, you would still have to earn some money.
I don’t know about you, but if I had 5 years to live…
I’d want to make the best of my business.
I wouldn’t just drop everything.
I’d focus on leaving a legacy (even though that might sound egocentric)

So, what does that mean… Make the best of my business?
Leave a legacy? What does that mean?
To you?

And more concretely,
What would you focus on?
Would you make the same choices?
Would you accept the same conditions of your clients/partners?

It’s an interesting exercise to make.
Because the next time someone wants to work with you,
or someone has a complaint or
some opportunity crosses your path….

…. think twice about what to answer!

Your turn!
What would you do if you only had 5 years to live? Tell us.

Big hug
Greet

PS: my aunt’s surgery went fine. That’s good news. Long way to go though. But she is ready to beat the cancer. I admire her strength and enthusiasm. We can learn something from her! Good luck, tante Mieke. You are in our thoughts and hearts. <3

Are you an entrepreneur or a wantrepreneur?

Hi there

I was a little surprised

To find out so many entrepreneurs/freelancers I know

Are afraid to step out of their comfort zone.

Let me explain…

 

You probably know what one of the main success factors of entrepreneurs is…

It’s being able to step out the comfort zone.

“Life begins where your comfort zone ends”

That’s the famous saying.

I strongly believe it is important to step out of your comfort zone

Once in a while

And the is surely the case if you are an entrepreneur.

Now, you shouldn’t exaggerate

Stepping out of your comfort zone 100% of the time

Will lead to burnout

I think.

 

Anyway, as I said in the beginning:

I was a little surprised

 

Together with fellow-entrepreneur Karina Urbina

I’m organizing a 2 day training

www.businessboostevent.be

for FREE

You only have to pay for the catering.

2 days of inspiration…

Tips and tricks…

Sharing experience and knowledge…

With likeminded entrepreneurs…

All about boosting our businesses

And it costs you almost nothing.

How great is that?!

That’s what Karina and I think 🙂

And a lot of other entrepreneurs.

 

But then we get the question:

“Where will it take place?”

I kind of understand the question.

People are probably curious

“But curiosity killed the cat”

 

No seriously,

We got remarks like:

“It better not be in Brussels”

“I love the idea but if it is in the Antwerp region I’m not coming”

“I come from West-Vlaanderen, I’m not going further than Ghent”

 

Come on!

Are you serious?

Are you an entrepreneur?

Or a wantrepreneur?

Two days of training & inspiration

About growing your business

For free

And you love the concept

But you say ‘no’ because it is not in Ghent?

Honestly, I can only understand this kind of reaction if you hate the idea of this event

Or hate Karina and/or me 🙂

 

But if you like the idea… come one!

 

Yeah! Come on!

I understand that not everybody feels like taking the plane to Tenerife

To attend a training

That cost a loooooot of money

(that’s what Karina and I did, by the way)

I understand not everybody goes to Orlando

To attend an HR Conference

(that is what I did)

 

But hey

How on earth do you want to grow your business

If stepping into your car and driving for an hour

To a free content rich event

Is too difficult?

 

In my opinion

That’s not being able to step out of your comfort zone

 

But that’s just me

And maybe I’m just being narrow-minded

So help me out…

What’s your reason for not attending the event?

 

Thanks for your input!

 

See you in at the event 🙂

In that secret place in Vlaanderen 🙂
www.businessboostevent.be

Big hug
Greet

PS: if you think one of your friends/colleagues/business partners could benefit from this free 2day training (Dutch) – SHARE! Merci!

 

 

Who’s to blame: you or them?

Does your follow-up suck?

or are these people you are trying to follow-up suckers? 🙂

Hi there!

3 true stories – is it me, or are some people really impolite? 😮

Do you recognize this?

You get a call from a person, let’s call her Lindsey, who is interested in your services and you have a pleasant conversation.

There is a click and the person agrees to work with you (sometimes things go fast… or not) so you schedule the appointment, book a meeting room, send some preliminary homework and you prepare yourself too….

Then comes the day, you are on your way to the place where you are supposed to meet.

And she calls in sick (s**t happens). You agree to schedule another date upon your arrival at the office.

And then you don’t hear anything about this person anymore. This is what happened to my client Peter.

 

Another true story: a guy, let’s call him Ken, calls because he has heard great things about my client Sandra. Great! She’s happy. Continue reading Who’s to blame: you or them?

Hi there, are you ready to S.H.I.N.E. ?

Hi there!

Oh no!

I recently received a mail from a person who gave me negative feedback on my business, brand and me being out there. I shot a video with my reaction to that: How to react to hate-mail.

And THANK YOU for all the positive reactions I received after I shared my video. I think I never got more reactions. Again, thank you.

There was also this wonderful lady, Hilde, HR Manager who told me ‘I have a friend who was also suspicious of you because of your so visible, and active online and offline. But no worries, I told her what a caring and giving person you are, so she changed her mind about you.’

What a great reaction ! Thanks, Hilde!

But that made me realize there are still lots of people out there who are afraid to be visible, and/or dislike people who are visible.

Thing is they are afraid. They fear visibility.  Continue reading Hi there, are you ready to S.H.I.N.E. ?

6 ways to get over your fear of sales

Hi there!

Have you ever had this feeling everyone is trying to sell you stuff?

You get a phone call from a telecom operator who want you to change provider.
You attend a webinar and at the end the host tries to sell you his or her services.
Some strange people ring the doorbell and want you to “buy” the message of God.
etc…

Do you recognize this?
How does that make you feel?
Do you feel like saying : “I don’t want to be sold to”!
Or you feel like throwing the phone away so they can’t bother you?

Well, lots of people feel this way.

And that is also one of the reasons why we are “afraid” to sell our services too. 

I used to struggle with that too.
When I started my company and had to sell myself and my services, thoughts like this went through my mind: Continue reading 6 ways to get over your fear of sales

[VIDEO] How to react to negative feedback

Hey

I got a mail from somebody a couple of days ago.
The guy doesn’t like me. That’s obvious.

This is what it said:

Dear Greet,
I really dislike your style.
You are too much out there.
I see you everywhere.
You are talking about being visible.
And achieving higher levels of performance.
Well, I’m ok with living a comfortable life without having to be so visible.
It’s easy for you to say, you are obviously the extraverted type.
Well I’m not.
There is more in life than being on social media.
And building a business.
Do me a favor and unsubscribe me from your list. 

Hallelujah ! Continue reading [VIDEO] How to react to negative feedback

[VIDEO] 5 pitfalls to avoid when starting your business

Hi there

A couple of weeks ago I was asked to “star” on an episode of eventplanner.tv. 
They wanted my views on starting a business.
I immediately said YES!
Another stretch – another challenge in my entrepreneurial career.
Life begins where your confort zone ends, right? Pfew! 🙂

Are you thinking of starting  your own business and you want to avoid the typical pitfalls?
Or you have already started one and still you want to avoid these pitfalls? Continue reading [VIDEO] 5 pitfalls to avoid when starting your business

VIDEO BLOG: the 8 fundamentals of Personal Branding

Hi there!

Last week I had the pleasure to spend two days with one of my clients and great artist: Axelle Vanquaillie. And with a bunch of enthusiastic entrepreneurs and intrapreneurs. We are are all eager to use our creative “talents” more often in our professional life.

We had the privilege to learn the doodling skills from Axelle and the story telling secrets from Lily Martens.

Being an enthusiastic student, I immediately put what I’ve learned in practice and here is the result of my first doodle. It is also your handout for the video below. Promise me you won’t laugh, I’m still a student 🙂 Pretty scary to share this with you, you know! 🙂

8 fundamentals

In this video I’ll teach you the 8 fundamentals of Personal Branding. 8 steps actually.

And to give you an aid to remember these 8 steps, I made a word(my signature system):

Y: You – it starts with you
O: Overcome your doubts and fears
U: Understand your niche
B: Blend your income streams
R: Realize your marketing message
A: Achieve your online presence
N: Nail your offline authority
D: Drive sales

Discover these steps and more in this video!

Enjoy.

And if you like, please do tell a friend.

Many thanks!